Inauguration for a Parallel Universe

I’ve formatted today’s photo in an appropriately somber manner.

Somehow I find Dubya’s parallel universe inauguration speech, as described in The Onion, much more plausible than the one he actually gave. (It’s more truthful and it makes a lot more sense.)

The poor lost soul. His speech was no more than a rehash of his empty-rhetoric-filled stump speech. And, in this writer’s estimation, he didn’t make a passing attempt to inspire the nation, to reconcile differences among the electorate, to acknowledge in any way the strange way in which he came to power, or even to recognize his inauguration as a moment in history.

But, then again, why should he? The truth is that he had things all sewn up with brother Jeb and the Supremes. So why should he feel any obligation to the majority of Americans who didn’t vote for him? He had his right-wing crony, ‘Justice’ Wm. Rehnquist, there to swear him in, so why bother? And shame on the press for failing to pick up on this irony.

At the inaugural balls tonight, I expect that First Lady Laura will show us tonight that she is to fashion what George W. is to politics. I suppose I shouldn’t slam her too badly; she at least claims to support a woman’s right to choose. Ah, what the heck, I’ll slam her anyway — she’s foolish enough to have married Mr. Roboto.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be in a less cantankerous mood. Or maybe after four years of conservative compassionism.