The ABC’s of Right-Wing Bitches

This must be the week for right-wing bitches to attempt redemption on national television. In a segment I’ve been referring to as the “Interview with the Vampire,” ABC’s PrimeTime Thursday features Katherine Harris, Florida’s Secretary of State and heir-apparent to the hair stylist, orange-juice fortune, and ideology of Anita Bryant, shows her mascara-laden self in an effort of self-justification.

Then, if the Katherine Harris appearance doesn’t inspire you to pledge never again to change your channel from the Cartoon Network, 20/20 — also on ABC — features the ever-vile but always jokeworthy Linda Tripp, replete with makeover. While her new hairstyle and facelift might make her an appropriate guest for Ricki Lake or Jenny Jones, it’s not exactly enough of a news story for a newsmagazine show. (Unfortunately, this subhuman horror hasn’t had a soul makeover, which would perhaps be a start at true redemption.)

Do these two think they’re going to change anybody’s opinions of them by these appearances? Or are they just so media-hungry that they haven’t even figured out why they’re going public? Maybe someday I’ll understand.